


What’s wrong with Nelly Furtardo ???

by avenging_wholockian3



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pop music, arthur is a precious bean, basically these idiots being idiots, eames is a dork, such a dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7398253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avenging_wholockian3/pseuds/avenging_wholockian3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eames likes to mess with Arthur by changing the music on his ipod every time they go under together on easy jobs. However what Arthur assumes is just Eames being an idiot, may actually be a strange way of courting...</p>
            </blockquote>





	What’s wrong with Nelly Furtardo ???

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, hope yall like this! This is dedicated to the wonderful Seb who has to listen to my weird ass music tastes more often than not.

  
The job was going well, smooth and clean just like Arthur wanted, although Eames kept suspiciously glancing over at Arthur ever so often.    
  
Now this in itself wasn't that unusual, however it was the accompanying smirk that made Arthur nervous. He narrows his eyes at Eames, scrunching his eyebrows in a silent question.    
  
Eames smirks harder and shakes his head, making Arthur glance down at himself just to check he hadn't got anything on his suit before frowning at the forger even harder.    
  
"Darling if you frown any more your face will set permanently, and that would be an awful shame." Eames comments, patting him on the shoulder as he walks past.    
  
Arthur shakes his head, a smile threatening to creep onto his face as he checks both exits twice to make sure they're not being tailed, pointedly ignoring Ariadne's knowing look.    
  
Slowly but surely music starts to fill his ears, engulfing the room around them, but instead of Edith Piaf’s “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien.” he's greeted to what sounds like mid 2000s crappy pop music.    
  
"What is this?" He mumbles, but as it grows louder he hears the distinct vocals of Nelly Furtardo.   
  
_ You expect me to just let you hit it, but will you still respect me if you get it. _   
  


What the hell is going on ? He didn’t put this on, he doesn't even have this on his ipod! 

  
"Interesting choice in music Arthur." Ariadne comments, smirking at him like she expected this to happen, and finds it highly all amusing.   
  
"What I didn't... I don't understand." He says, lost for words with no clue what's happening.    
  
That is until he looks over at Eames to find him rolling his hips seductively, mouthing the lyrics as he goes " _ You wanna get in my world, get lost in it. Boy I’m tired of running, lets walk for a minute _ ." Winking as he goes.    
  
All Arthur can do is stare, at how...... How..... Unprofessional Eames is being right now! This could compromise the team, the extraction, everything ! His hips are certainly distracting Arthur's focus damnit.     
  
Ariadne is flat out laughing at them now, adding to the growing embarrassment that Arthur is feeling. Feeling the heat rising to his face, he wonders how red his ears are getting right now.   
  
He shakes his head, tearing his gaze away from Eames's dancing to complete the final checks before they are whipped top side again.    
  
"What the hell was that Eames!" Arthur yells loudly as soon as the man comes round.    
  
"A little bit of Nelly never hurts anyone!" Eames smirks, putting a hand on Arthur's shoulder, which Arthur quickly shrugs off.    
  
"You could have ruined everything ! We have set plans for a reason Eames, that was unprofessional and dangerous and you know it." Arthur shouts, ignoring the way Eames licks his lips, making them look all the more kissable.   
  
"Arthur," Eames starts with an exasperated smile, "This was an easy job and you know it, the team knew about the song change, it was just a little fun ! Lighten up a bit." Eames says leaning in closer to whisper "Promiscuous Boy. I'm calling your name, but you're driving me crazy, the way you're making me wait." Before walking off, leaving Arthur wide eyed, mouth open and feeling more than a little hot.    
  
~    
  
The next time it happens, Arthur nearly dies. 

 

Not literally of course, but from a mixture of embarrassment and lust. 

 

Arthur hadn’t seen Eames for a few months since the Nelly incident, as he likes to call it, and he has to admit he misses him. Well, he’s very good at what he does, Arthur can respect him for that... And he's incredibly attractive, not that he will ever admit that to him, his ego is big enough as it is.

 

He’d nearly called Eames after the last job, where he came close to landing himself in hospital, well to be more accurate he quite literally nearly died. Hearing Eames voice was all he wanted, but he restrained from pressing the all important numbers he knew off by heart. 

 

Now he’s sat in a small warehouse in the middle nowhere researching for his next job. Not that it needs much research being a relatively simple one, but he's nothing but thorough when it comes to his work.

 

“Eames? Is that you?” Arthur says, standing as he sees the forger walk into the room. 

  
“Arthur!” Eames exclaims, “What are you doing here?” Pulling Arthur into a short hug. 

 

“I’m working this job Eames, just like you are i'm guessing?” he smirks. 

 

Eames rolls his eyes, “Yes but this isn't your usual type of job? Little easy for you isn't it?”

 

“I could say the same thing to you.” Arthur says raising an eyebrow, “The infamous forger working a job like this?” 

 

Eames however, rather than answering his question, grins widely, “Darling you think i’m a infamous forger?” 

 

Arthur rolls his eyes, brushing past Eames to get to his workstation, praying furiously that his ears aren't turning red. 

 

“Dont worry, I think you’re an excellent point man, the best I know actually.” Eames continues, following him. 

 

“Of course I am.” Arthur replies shortly, smiling safely as his back is to Eames. 

 

“Ahhhh there’s the Arthurian arrogance i’ve so desperately missed.” 

 

“One thing I have not missed is having to look at your awful shirts everyday.” Arthur says before he blurts out something stupid about missing the man. 

 

“Ahhhh so you have missed some parts of me?” Eames says winking. 

 

Arthur feels his mouth go slightly dry as he looks up at Eames, “Let’s just get to work.” he manages to get out. 

 

20 minutes later when he looks in the bathroom mirror, his ears are still red.

 

The job, as expected goes well, no one gets shot, no one turns on them, no one is on route to end up in hospital. Everything is going perfectly. That is until Christina Aguilera’s voice suddenly fills the dream. 

 

Now this one certainly isn't on his ipod for sure.

 

Before he can even respond, Eames catches his eye across the room, raising his eyebrow and seductively singing “Sweet, Sugar, Candyman.” 

 

“I…… I hate you so much.” Arthur says, voice nearly cracking at the end.  

 

Eames just smirked, and starts dancing suspiciously accurately like Christina. 

 

“You’re ridiculous.” 

 

Eames keeps going. 

 

“Please stop we need to do security checks,” Arthur tries desperately.

 

Eames doesn't stop. Nope, instead he comes closer to Arthur, practically slut dropping against him singing “Makes the panties drop.” 

 

Arthur can’t even express how thankful he was that the dream ended before he could do anything stupid like drag Eames up into a kiss.

 

“Can you please not change my music.” Arthur demands when they are finally alone. 

 

“But Arthur it’s just so much fun!” Eames grins, “And honestly you need a little more fun in your life, you’re so stiff!” 

 

“Its called being professional Eames. Something you clearly know nothing about.”

 

Eames laughs, "Don't worry, I'll only ever do it on the easy jobs." 

 

"I'd prefer if you just left me with Edith Piaf." Arthur snaps, but with no real bite to his words. 

 

"Don't worry I'll make it extra booty popping next time just for you. Now I have to run, I have an appointment to keep across state, however do keep in touch darling it's been a terrible few months without you." Eames grins, grabbing Arthur's shoulder slightly before walking out. 

 

Arthur stares after him. Did he mean it ? Should Arthur call? Text? Or maybe he was just joking around, like he always jokes. Nothing is ever serious with Eames. No, Arthur thinks to himself, Eames doesn't mean it. 

 

He sighs, Eames never means it.

 

  
~   
  
The next time it happens is way too soon for Arthur’s liking.

 

As in the very next job he works.

 

….

 

He doesn't even get a break dammit!

 

Not that he minds spending time with Eames at all, but it’s a relatively easy job again, and it was the only thing going right now, meaning Eames will try to ambush him with some cheesy pop music yet again.

 

“Arthur! I said keep in touch, you didn’t have to work the same job just to see me you know.” 

 

Arthur rolls his eyes, “Trust me I didn't know you were working this or I wouldn't have turned up.”

 

Eames mock gasps, “Arthur you wound me!” 

 

A grin begins to form at the corners of his mouth. “Oh by the way, I don't know how you manage to do it, but i'm not letting my ipod out of my sight, so you can forget all your plans to change the music.” 

 

“Oh I think you’re severely underestimating my abilities Arthur.” 

 

Arthur raises his eyebrow.

 

“I’ll take that as a challenge.” Eames replies, mischievous glint in his eye.

 

"I look forward to seeing you try Mr. Eames." Arthur replies with a smirk, turning away from the gaping Eames and back to his work.

 

Arthur spends the next few days guarding his ipod with the utmost security, eyeing Eames suspiciously every time he comes close. 

 

He even triple checks his iPod in the last few seconds before he goes under, safe in the fact that it's Furtardo and Aguilera free, and enters the dream. 

 

~

 

Eames smiles at him, “I swear to god if I have to work with that idiot one more time I might just put myself into limbo.” 

 

Arthur huffs out a small laugh, “He can be…. challenging.”

 

“Challenging, my dear, is an understatement.” Eames huffs.

 

“Speaking of challenging, I think you will be disappointed to hear that you have failed in changing the music, I triple checked my ipod myself.” Arthur says triumphantly, failing to mention he’d also paid off the girl to make sure that she chose the precise song he wanted.

 

“Oh I wouldn't be so sure of yourself Arthur, i’m very resourceful.” He replies, winking. 

 

Looking around, Arthur realises they’re alone again. Eames doing probably. He’s secretly hoping that Eames has actually managed to change the music, not that he’d ever admit it, but he’s curious to what ridiculous tune he’s chosen this time. That and his weird lip syncing and dancing is strangely attractive.

 

As if the universe is listening to his prayers, Britney Spears Toxic starts to fill his ears. 

 

“Really Eames. Really?” Arthur says, giving him a flat look, “First Nelly Furtado now Britney?” 

 

“I’ll have you know this is classic music. Whats wrong with Nelly?” Eames says, feigning hurt. 

 

Arthur shakes his head, “Eames did you check the…..” 

 

Arthur is promptly cut off at the sight of Eames whipping his shirt off and mouthing “You’re dangerous… I’m loving it.”

 

“Eames what the hell are you doing.” 

 

Eames continues to dance, moving towards Arthur and pushing him into the armchair which he fears may have been placed here for this exact purpose. His mouth goes dry and he wills his blush not to spread as Eames dances in front of him, doing his best Britney impression. 

 

“Eames, please we should…”

 

Eames moves to put a finger over Arthur's lips, moving to straddle him singing “I’m addicted to you, don’t you know that you’re toxic.” into his ear, practically giving Arthur his very own lap dance, hips moving seductively against arthur’s chest.

 

“Eames….” Arthur breathes out shakily, not even sure what he’s trying to say at this point. 

 

Luckily he doesn't have to as the dream promptly ends and he wakes awkwardly back in the warehouse with the others. 

 

His eyes snap to Eames, who is smirking at him. Fuck this. Fucking Eames. 

 

Does he know about Arthur’s crush? Is he just messing with him? Or is he … maybe.. serious? No he can’t be, Arthur thinks, he messes with everyone, he’s just messing with him too. It’s not like he’d ever seriously like someone like Arthur.

 

He manages to avoid Eames until after they get paid, Eames intercepting him on his way out. 

 

“Hey Arthur, I was wondering if you…” Eames starts, but Arthur cuts him off, desperate for Eames not to see how pathetically in love with him he is.

 

“You have a terrible voice by the way. Well done in bribing her more than me.” 

Eames looks hurt for a moment, before swiftly putting on a smile. “Darling I told you i’m resourceful. Look I was wondering if you…” He tries again, but the sound of Arthur’s phone ringing cuts him off again. 

 

"I’m sorry i’ve got to take this, it's Cobb." Arthur says apologetically. 

 

"That's fine, say hi from me." Eames says shortly, before heading off with a quick wave, leaving Arthur to wonder what the hell just happened. 

 

~

 

This job was meant to be easy. It really was. But god he was working with some traitorous bastards. Apart from Eames of course. God Eames was the only one not working for whoever had paid them off. 

 

“Arthur!” Eames shouts, pushing him into a side room just as he's about to be shot. Throwing a grenade down the corridor, he jumps in after Arthur, slamming the door. 

 

"Are you...?" Arthur asks, just to be sure. 

 

Hurt flashes over Eames face, "Bloody hell Arthur of course not! What kinda person do you take me for ! I wouldn't sell you out." 

 

Arthur nods firmly. "I know. I just wanted to be sure." 

 

He notices Eames heavy breathing and the blood covering his fingers. "Are you ok? Eames oh my god are you ok?" 

 

"I’m fine, just got shot that's all." Eames replies lightly. 

 

"Oh god Eames where? Tell me we need to stop the bleeding, Oh god I should have done something. I should have...." Arthur says desperately before Eames cuts him off. 

 

"Look Arthur! I’m fine okay, it's just my arm, i've had worse and this is only a dream. It will be okay." Eames says, smiling genuinely despite the shit show they seem to have landed themselves in. 

 

"This was meant to be an easy job." Arthur says, securing the door before checking the other entrances. 

 

"Yeah no shit, love." Eames huffs, "This is going to be such a mess topside."

 

"I made the necessary precautions for escape." Arthur mumbles, working on wrapping a pillowcase around Eames arm. He knows it's a dream but he needs something to do with his hands. Eames looks at him like he knows, but thankfully doesn't comment. 

 

"Of course you did." Eames says with a look far too fond for someone who could be shot again at any minute.  

 

Arthur stares at him, not quite willing to look away just yet, before he's distracted by ...... Is that the Sugababes ? Is that honestly Sugababes Push The Button ? 

 

Arthur freezes, looking at Eames disbelievingly for a few seconds before he feels a small laugh start to bubble out of him. 

 

Eames looks momentarily shocked, but soon joins Arthur in laughing, both of them slumped against the door nearly in hysterics. 

 

"Well darling, when I planned this, I certainly didn't envisage being shot, hiding for our lives or you laughing uncontrollably at me." 

 

"Eames..." Arthur starts, but can't find the words to say, leaning in and pressing against Eames in a desperate kiss. 

 

Eames doesn't respond, and Arthur is just about to pull away before they are whipped back into reality. Straight into battle again. 

 

As soon as he comes round Arthur grabs the guns he'd set up as a precaution, throwing one to Eames, "Go now, black Audi 09 plate." He shouts at him, dodging a punch thrown his way by the man who just woke next to him. 

 

He manages to get out of the warehouse with a moderate degree of ease. Meaning, yes it was hard, but no he's not shot yet. And jumps into the already running car. 

 

"Go. I'm covering you." 

 

"Bloody hell Arthur, how were we the only two that weren't paid off!" Eames all but nearly shouts once there a fair distance away.

 

"I'm beginning to think it was a set up. To get us, or one of us at least. The whole job was too easy really." Arthur replies, "I have us two plane tickets to Paris. You want to head for the airport. From there we can go to my apartment and sort this whole situation out." 

 

The plane ride and journey to Arthur's apartment are awkward to say the least. Neither of them speaking to each other beyond the necessary, and both of them too cautious to let their guard drop. 

 

Arthur's worried he's ruined it all. He kissed Eames and God it was amazing, but Eames... Eames hadn't kissed him back. It was like all his hopes and dreams came true only to be shattered mercilessly seconds later. 

 

It's only once they are safely and securely in the apartment does Eames broach the topic.

 

"So," he starts cautiously, "The kiss. Did you mean it ?"

 

Arthur looks at him, he really does debate lying, but in the end he's too tired of it all to keep up the facade. "It was a mistake." 

 

"Oh." Eames replies, face hardening into a frown. 

 

"I really like you Eames. I seriously like you, and I know you don't feel the same, so im sorry." Arthur says, looking down at his feet. This is it, he thinks, he's going to loose his friend.

 

"Wait what ? You like me ??" Eames exclaims, walking closer, "Arthur I adore you. God I can't do anything but think about you every second of every day." 

 

Arthur looks at him, "But .... You didn't kiss me back." 

 

Huffing out a laugh, Eames replies, "Darling that was because I was more than a little shocked that you were kissing me as we were being shot at with sugababes playing." 

 

"Oh."

 

"Yes 'oh'." Eames smirks, "How did you not know ! I gave you a lap dance and literally played you Push the Button! It has the lyrics -I've been waiting patiently for him to come and get it." 

 

"I don't know ! I thought you were just having fun ! I didn't think you we're serious." Arthur huffs, still not quite believing this is true, that the forger actually wants him. 

 

"Arthur how are you the smartest person I know." Eames says with an exasperated sigh.

 

"Oh shut up and kiss me." 

 

"Your wish is my command." Eames replies, closing the gap and pulling Arthur's lips to his.

 

Arthur breaks away, a little breathless, "I  always used to think that to get stuck in limbo would be the worst thing possible, but if i washed up on the shore of your subconscious with you, I don't think I'd mind one bit." He mumbles against Eames lips.

 

"Fuck." Eames says, capturing his lips again.

 

Arthur looks at him, lips red and eyes blown wide, "Please." 

 

~ 

 

Two years later

 

"Arthur darling have you seen my CD collection?" Eames shouts, unpacking the boxes into the apartment they just bought together.

 

"Yeah I think I saw them fall off of the truck half way here sorry." Arthur deadpans, sticking his head into the room. 

 

"Don't even joke about that." Eames says, moving to plant a kiss on his forehead.

 

"I still can't believe you own all of those songs." 

 

"Hey! What's wrong with Nelly Furtardo?"

  
  
  


http://youtu.be/0J3vgcE5i2o Nelly Furtardo 

 

http://youtu.be/-ScjucUV8v0 Christina Aguilera 

 

http://youtu.be/LOZuxwVk7TU Britney Spears 

 

http://youtu.be/oJDGcxAf9D8 sugababes 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my bit of crack ! Please comment if you can !


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